Barsexuality is the new black.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
