we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm at about main and main street
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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