Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
