Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
