dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
