Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can you bring me the toilet please
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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