Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
