Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
