I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
