how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
