dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
