So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You ruined the universe
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
