I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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