So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
