my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize