so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
