I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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