He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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