am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
