Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
40s are totally the cure
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
