The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
