This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
