hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
