Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
