Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize