yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
