Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
