his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
