I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
