Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
