actually, I'm a sock model
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
