I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
