i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
