She is in my trunk
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
