Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
