Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
