yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize