If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
