giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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