I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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