Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
