apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize