I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize