That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize