my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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