I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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