Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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