dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
