sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
