Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
