i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
