I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
