She announced her abortion via fbk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
