dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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