Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
