He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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