No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ladies don't puke and tell
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