I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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