It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
